The REAL Talk
Whoa. Can I bring real talk to you? I want to talk with you about realities that many still find taboo. Can I take a minute to process with you out loud many realities? My reality is that life pre COVID-19 was tough. I was constantly ‘busy’ running here, going there, making check list or ‘To Do’ lists so I could at the end of the day check the items off... I found my self worth in productivity.
It felt good to know that I had accomplished things on my list that I had set out for the day to get completed. What I did not know or learn was that my ‘busy’ was a way to avoid the uncomfortable... the way I had allowed my self to take the back burner because let’s face it as a mom, you often pour into others ‘thinking’ your fulfilling your God given purpose... shaping and modeling those He brought into your life on borrowed time. All the while, knowing you can’t pour from an empty cup and only giving yourself the ‘left overs’ before you fall into bed at night and Wash. Rinse. Repeat cycle.
Have you gotten ‘stuck in the yuck’. Life can beat you down. While you are obedient and give yourself time in scripture, the daily grind leaves you unfulfilled. Yeah, I know... I see you. I am you. I have been right there with you. Finally I have learned prioritizing...ME. I took a stand... I kept whispering to Him... send me a sign, show me the light...I will follow!
My daughters, 10 (almost 11) and 14, very impressionable, unexpectedly faced the loss of my husband/father in early January. Yes, pre COVID...needless to say we have processed more than our share during this time. While scripture is woven into our daily, it is not until we hit a HARD road block, where we are made to ‘be still’ and address the uncomfortable.
You see the fact is, we were never meant to do it ALONE. Jesus is Our Rock... my youngest daughter says it is her FAVORITE CTC shirt and she proudly and BOLDLY wears it. It is a reminder to her that He desires more than anything a relationship with her, to lean in when we are weary, to allow Him to carry our burdens for us.
Additionally, my oldest daughter frequently wears ‘God Defines Me’ because let’s face it... nothing is FUN about the middle school years, when we are discovering ourselves, wanting to ‘fit in’ but also abide by His word, speak the truth, but also develop trustworthy friendships other than your parents. Anxiety is a real topic in our house and at times it can be debilitating and paralyzing... then to add losing a parent, and now the pandemic. WHOA.
Remember, I told you I would keep it REAL... here is the raw, vulnerable truth. It. Is. ALOT! Here is also what I know... I can choose to be a victim of circumstances, or I can choose Pure Joy. Joy is a gift from God that is freely given when we choose to lean in and walk with Him. We are in control of our emotional boundaries, we get to choose how we will allow the daily to effect our Joy.
I wear ‘Pure Joy’ as a reminder that it is a gift and my relationship with God is steadfast; I am the only wavering variability in the equation. So, when I stop and reflect, address the uncomfortable, I am reminded that at the end of the day, I have all I need, because life is about relationships. First my relationship with Him, and secondly with myself (putting my oxygen mask on myself first before assisting others) and then finally my children.
Similar to what I can focus on during the present state of affairs... my relationship with Him is unwavering, showing up and being the best version of myself so that I can continue to serve others and then maintaining and continuing to influence my children. When you recognize that ultimately, our story has already been written, we are not in control, then all the other seems to be minimal in the whirl wind of crazy times.
Gena Hargis - CTC Team Member