"You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north."
I think we all have times in our lives where we end up feeling separated from God. It normally happens with small steps that land you farther and farther away. Then we end up feeling like we are wandering around like the Israelites in the desert. Anyone struggling with this right now? I am.
My best description of how I have been feeling lately is that I have firmly gotten myself stuck in quicksand. I took a step in and then another. Then I realized where I was and panicked decided to move my body frantically and make myself even more STUCK!
Have you ever done that? Got yourself in a mess and instead of being calm and reaching out for God you dig yourself farther into the hole trying to fix it?
I am one of the worst at this. I struggle to look to God in my tougher moments. Instead it is in the good times I can clearly see him. In the "good" times I can appreciate the grace he has shown me even though my decisions did not/do not always equate to the life I currently have the gift of living.
So I had my moment in the "quick sand" on Monday and I was about chin deep (so things were not looking great). At this point my husband stands next to me and says, "STOP I am here - lean on me. STOP trying to work all of this out yourself."
That was my total ah-ha moment. So I had the normal understanding that yes my husband is a lovely, solid and dependable human being and I should lean on him more. BUT more so I had the realization of what I was doing beyond my marriage and that was not trusting GOD who is SO.MUCH.MORE than any person can be for us.
So when we read about God delivering the Israelites out of Egypt and right after that they are thinking of going back because it isn't how they imagined.... we start judging them (or at least I did). Yet, maybe instead we should take a minute and think about how many times he has delivered us from something and then we attempt to GO.RIGHT.BACK.
We really need to challenge ourselves not to fall into that same situation that made the Israelites wander around the desert for 40 years!
This week was a really big wake up call for me. I must not wall myself off from God in my tougher moments and start to question that HE knows the way forward.
Let's remember he always knew the path he wanted the Israelites to take yet they felt the need to walk around in circles until they realized they should trust in him.
I don't want to do that. I want to be at the point where God is saying to me, "You have circled this hill long enough, Now turn NORTH".
Ladies let us all Turn North NOW.
Becky Koch - CTC Staff