Who is the Star of Your Story?
"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."
a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness
If I were given the opportunity to write a book I think I might be tempted to write myself in as the main character. If this book was going to be widely read, which it probably would be, I would want to showcase the very best side of myself. I would write a chapter for each notable success I could think of. I would share all the ways I strived to live this life to the fullest, capitalizing on every opportunity to make myself who I am today: a strong and capable wife, mom, friend and small business woman.
I would probably keep the dark and messy side of me out of this book. Why use up ink on the areas of my life that are dark and lonely and hard? People are more drawn to joy and visions of the beautiful life anyway and it’s my story to tell after all, right? Or is it?
I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior on August 8, 2003. From that day forward my story ended and His began. You see, I could never write a book with myself as the main character because my story isn’t about me at all. MY story is a telling of GOD’s glorious happenings. I am humbled to live out His story for my life. To see the beauty from ashes.
What a gift I’ve been given. What a gift we’ve all been given. God has taken the pen away. I have been relieved of my writing duties! Now I get to walk humbly knowing my life is not my own. I can boast in His goodness and the countless times He has held me through brokenness and the darkest of nights.
God has included the best of the best in my story. Adoption. Becoming a Christ Follower. Marriage. Parenthood. Good Health. Church Community. Friendship.
But he has also included the hardest of the hard. Chapters I wasn’t sure I would survive. One on how we lost our beautiful 4 month old baby girl, Mila. Many chapters of grief and brokenness and despair. He added another chapter on second trimester pregnancy loss and a shattered heart. Then came chapters on loneliness and disappointment. There was a chapter on mental health problems and one on a slow recovery. He wrote many chapters on marriage and counseling and repenting of my own sin.
Every single chapter mattered and still matters. They're all a part of my story. But in the end I walk humbly in every written page. I only boast in His plan, His goodness, His story. The blessings and the hardships all make up the most beautiful book called Life.
If you are struggling to walk in your journey because the chapters laid before you aren’t what you’ve planned, I have been there. I am so very sorry. Let the One who created you be the One you run to. Let His goodness overcome the darkness. Let your prayer be to walk humbly with Him.
Written with Love,
Lisa Bocan - CTC Friend
& Wife to Matt and Mama to Brenna, Mila, Nolan and Aiden